Tuesday, September 27, 2005

What Should I Do?

Both of my sisters are married, and all of my friends are either married, getting married, or are in serious relationships. I really don't date all too much, mostly due to my distrust of men. I was very (emotionally) abused by my boyfriend about 4 years ago. Since then, I have either gotten incredibly hurt by the men I date or I stop the relationship before I get hurt, because I am afraid of getting hurt. My distrust has also been perpetuated by the fact that at the end of last year, I found out that my father cheated on my mother on and off for about 20 years. I have tried over and over to get over my fear of rejection and/or getting hurt. I have dated the badboy, the nice guy, the jock, the older man, the Navy pilot and many many more "types", but none of them seem to fit me. When I thought I might be pregnant a couple of weeks back, my need for something more in my life increased. I realized that while I may have a wonderful family and nice friends, and a wonderful little dog, that I need some sort of romantic companionship in my life.

So, to get to my point, I met this guy this weekend who's name is Justin. He's tall, handsome, has a great personality, a great job, and best of all, he has the approval of my brother-in-law for me to go out alone, unchaparoned, with Justin and a couple of their other friends. We all got really drunk, and since I obviously couldn't drive the 30-45 min back to Akron from Cleveland, I stayed in their hotel room. Now, my sister and brother-in-law slept in one bed, and Justin and I slept in the other bed. Neither of us could sleep so we spend 3 or so hours talking. It was nice to have someone actually find me attractive and take an interest in me. My only fear is that since he only knows me when I've been drunk, that that's who he thinks I am. I am a very exaggerated form of myself when I am drunk. I get belligerent, I will only do what I want and not what anyone else wants me to do, and I flirt....A lot. We went out again Saturday night but nothing much more happened. I was so tired in the morning, we had to get up at 6:30 because the guys had to drive back to DC, that I didn't get a chance to really talk to him, or for that matter, give him my phone # or ask him to call me.

On Monday, I realized that I really like this guy. He's the nicest, sweetest guy I have taken and interest to in a very long time. I talked with my sister and brother-in-law about it, and they said that I should do nothing about it, basically because he lives in DC and I live in stupid Akron, OH. They claim that he's a "sex freak", what ever my brother-in-law thinks that means. I know for a fact that he has been wrong about Justin before. I just wish I had a chance to find out for myself. I'm pondering taking a trip back down to DC this weekend, but I think that might be stalking. Although, Justin did ask me before he left when I was coming back down to DC, but I didn't know at the time, and I might just be rationalizing here. What should I do? What if this is who I'm supposed to be with? I can't get this out of my head!


At 8:07 PM, Blogger Dop said...

Personally, and this is just me, I would wait another weekend. You are making a decision based on impulse and emotion, and not on the facts. I know how hard it is to not follow your heart. But where the head goes, the heart follows willingly. Spend some time on the phone with the DC guy first and see how that goes. If you can't bear being away from him and want to learn more, THEN book your flight to DC. Two cents.

At 9:46 AM, Blogger ThreeCharlie said...

Yeah I totally agree. It sounds like your really lonely right now, and you’re taking an instant liking to the first person that shows interest in you. Sometimes I go through this myself when I'm hitting a dating slump. So I have to ask myself a simple question: "Would I really be into this person if I was being pursued by several women right now?" This question usually snaps me out of my daydreaming.
Thanks for hitting my site by the way.


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